Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
