just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize