yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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