about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
