im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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