I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
