..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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