Moan for me like Helen Keller
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We left an ass print on the piano.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
