I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
