I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
