Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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