he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
