I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Randomize
