yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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