South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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