I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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