i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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