I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
