so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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