office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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