I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
