smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
