i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
