Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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