Nicole vs. Life
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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