You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
