i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
