I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
