Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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