Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
