she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
