I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
