"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
