i think i have two assholes
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
