i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
