I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
