Dual....:-)
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
