He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
