You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dicks are not precious.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
