just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
