it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
