Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
