everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
