My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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