well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Randomize
