Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
