I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
