it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize