he was CRYING into my vagina
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
