Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
