just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
