Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i jhust puked up my retainher.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am

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(660): View more from Missouri

I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that

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(601): View more from Mississippi

i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.

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(815): View more from Illinois

You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes

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(876): View more from Jamaica

dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody

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