I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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