There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
