I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
