it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How does it feel to date your dad?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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