we have officially lost it.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
