I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
