: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
